


Cheating Time

by rebelmeg



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Needs Sleep, Domestic Avengers, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Hours have personalities, Jarvis is the best, Sleep is elusive, Steve is nopeing right out of this nonsense, Tony Stark Needs Sleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 18:57:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14267463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rebelmeg/pseuds/rebelmeg
Summary: Tony can't sleep, and neither can Bucky.  It's completely normal to anthropomorphize hours on the clock while having not-entirely-lucid conversations in the wee hours of the morning, right?





	Cheating Time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fancy_Dragonqueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fancy_Dragonqueen/gifts).



> This is straight fluffy crack, so have fun with that. Fancy_Dragonqueen is my partner in crime on this one, we had this exact conversation last week and she mentioned that she would love to see Tony and Bucky have that conversation, so.... I did a thing.

“That’s it, I’ve had it with 3 a.m. We’re over. Jarvis, tell 3 a.m. we’re breaking up.”

“I shall at once, sir.”

Something moved over on the huge sectional in the living room area of the communal floor, and Tony jumped when Bucky’s head emerged over the back of the cushions, eyes bloodshot and hair an absolute mess.

Tony narrowed his eyes. “You’re sleeping in here? I swear I gave you your own suite, with a bed and everything.”

Bucky’s voice was rough with tiredness. “You did. Seems 3 a.m. left you and came to me for consoling.”

Was that humor? Was that actual, legit humor coming from the former Winter Soldier’s mouth? Tony must have been more sleep-deprived than he originally suspected… “That bitch! What about 5 a.m.? 5 a.m. been two-timing me too?”

Bucky’s head tilted in a way that suggest he shrugged. “Five a.m. is needy, what was I supposed to do? We’re very well acquainted.”

Abandoning his intentions to search through the fridge for something he didn’t really want to eat, Tony detoured to the sectional and flopped down on it adjacent to Bucky. “Well, that’s settles it. I will never love again.”

Bucky was smirking as he wiggled back down onto the cushions, sprawling out nearly the entire length of his section with a blanket tossed over himself. “5 a.m. wants you to know it’s very sorry and very sad.”

Tony put on a pout and did his best to imitate a fake sob. “5 a.m. can’t fix this. I am too wounded. I’m going back to 3 a.m. 3 a.m. loves me!”

“Sir, I believe you just broke up with 3 a.m. and it may not take you back.”

Tony laughed out loud. “Jarvis, I love it when you play along.”

\-----------------------

The end credits of Armageddon were rolling when Tony came out of his doze, and he wasn’t sure if he was glad or irritated that he’d missed most of the movie. (Soooo scientifically inaccurate and yet so fun at the same time, how did they do that?)

He glanced over, half-expecting to see Bucky fast asleep and hopefully drooling because that would have been funny, but instead the guy had the nerve to be sitting there, eyes open, perfectly composed and drool-free.

“What time is it?” Tony asked, and even he couldn’t ignore how exhausted he sounded.

“Quarter to six.”

“I can’t believe 5 a.m. left me for you. How dare?”

Bucky just… well, he actually grinned, and it transformed his whole face. “You weren’t snuggling it anymore. And I’m cuter.”

Tony gasped so loud he kind of felt like he’d swallowed a bug. “That _bitch_!”

“Nah, the real bitch is 6 a.m.”

“Right?!” Tony scrubbed at his eyes with the heels of his palms “6 a.m. is _mean_.”

“Nobody likes 6 a.m. 6 a.m. never had love for anyone.”

“Maybe 6 a.m. is just sad though? Maybe it’s lonely.”

“Can’t be, it’s got 7 a.m.”

Tony sent him a speaking glance. “But I heard that 7 keeps leering at 8, doesn’t even give 6 the time of day anymore.”

Bucky pursed his lips and threw a loose throw pillow (ha, he was clearly using it for its intended purpose) at Tony. “Don’t you make me feel bad for 6 a.m., and that was the worst pun I have ever heard in my life.”

“Just think, always left behind by 5 a.m., never loved by 7. 6 a.m. is the loneliest hour.”

“Aaaaand you’ve done it, you’ve made me feel bad for 6 a.m.” With a huff and a grunt and a groan, Bucky rolled over onto his stomach, pulling the blanket up over his head and burying his face in the couch cushions.

Tony tapped his finger on his chin. “Maybe it’s not completely lonely, though. I mean, doesn’t Steve usually get up around now? Six a.m. always has Steve.”

With a faint snorting sound, the Bucky-lump shook a little bit like he was laughing.

“Still kinda mad at 3 and 5 though.”

Bucky lifted his head just enough to speak without a cushion in his face. “Give it until tomorrow, we’ll see how you feel then.”

“I’d be happy to just avoid 6 a.m. for now.” Against his will, Tony’s eyes were drooping.

“Well, you’ve got seven minutes to escape.” Bucky face-planted back down on the couch and readjusted the blanket.

“What do you think, Jarvis? Think 6 a.m. will leave me alone?”

“I can only hope so, sir.” The AI answered back, something exasperated and fond hiding in his code.

Shaking his head as he snuck back out of the communal kitchen after listening to that conversation, Steve kept his steps silent. Hopefully those two weirdos would actually get some sleep now. And he did _not_ want to get drawn into whatever nonsense that was about the personalities of hours on the clock, thank you very much.

His tower-mates were completely insane.


End file.
